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Addiction & Children

Sadly, over 12% of children 17 years and under live with at least one parent with alcohol use disorder.  Among them, 18.7% live in single-parent households.

More than 21 million children live with a parent who misuses substances and more than 2 million live with a parent who has an addiction.

Family remains the primary source of attachment, nurturing, and socialization for humans in our current society. Subsequently, addiction impacts  the family as a whole, as well as individual family members, especially children. Unmet developmental needs, impaired attachment, economic hardships, legal problems, emotional distress, instability, abandonment, neglect, and sometimes violence, are all scenarios that impact the children of addicts.  Additionally, there is also an increased risk of the children of addicts developing an addiction themselves.









Tips for Talking to Kids About a Parent's Drug Addiction

While children might not understand addiction, they know something is wrong and, in the absence of real information, children will fill in the blanks on their own, and even worse, overhear other family members or family friends talking bad about their parent.  

When children hear that their parent is "Bad", it creates a tug-of-war in their feelings.  They love their parent, yet they're being told they're bad...so if they love them, does that make them bad or wrong?  Children should not have to bear the ripple effects of their parent's bad choices.

Explaining addiction to a child can be challenging, but it can be a crucial step for building understanding and relieving some of the guilt and anxiety kids may experience.







It’s not easy to talk to children about addiction. You may be worried how the conversation will affect your child and wonder if they will even be able to understand it, depending on their age. However, because a parent’s (or any family member’s) addiction has a direct impact on children, it’s crucial to have this conversation.

It may be helpful to have the conversation in a therapy setting so both parties have trained emotional support for any issues that may arise because of the conversation. 



It's important that you don't minimize the pain that the addiction has caused the child or how it has disrupted the family.  After you have validated their pain and the issues the addiction has caused, sincerely apologize and remind them the addiction is not their fault and doesn't have anything to do with how much they are loved.

It's also important that your child knows you are getting help and that you are doing everything you can to get better.  This reassuring message of hope can be comforting in a unstable situation. 

If you're unsure how to approach the conversation, reaching out to a licensed family therapist can help.