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Intervention

It's hard helping a loved one who is struggling with any type of addiction because they don't want to hear it.  They don't want to admit they've past the point of being able to control it on their own.  But sometimes, an intervention is the only way to get them to open their eyes and admit they need help.

Many times, a direct, heart-to-heart conversation can start the road to recovery and sometimes a more focused approach often is needed. You may need to join forces with other family and friends, and sometimes you may need to take action through a formal intervention and use an educated and trained interventionist or a member of the person's faith.

An intervention should be a carefully planned process. It is important that the friends and family involved already have a plan of what to do and say, as well as what not to do or say, before the intervention.  This helps all team members to stay on topic, and to avoid placing blame, making accusations, or saying other hurtful things, which may lead the person to refuse help.







Steps to Planning an Intervention

  • Choose the people who will be a part of the intervention

Choose the people who will be a part of the intervention carefully.  The team should consist of people who truly care about the person and who are emotionally strong enough to withstand the backlash and harsh words that are inherent in an intervention.  Avoid including anyone who has an addiction of their own in the team as this could be counterintuitive.  It also helps if the team consists of people the subject respects and cares about as this will present a better chance of the subject actually listening to what is being said.

  • Understand more about addiction

Do some research so you have a better understanding about what addiction is...and isn’t. This will help you recognize some of the issues someone in recovery will go through and how they might try to explain away  their actions or manipulate you into giving them more time.

  • Be aware that your loved one will most likely lash out and say hurtful things

Any animal that’s backed into a corner is going to fight to survive. And an addict that’s being confronted about their addiction is going to fight like they’re an animal that’s been cornered.  You need to be prepared that they are going to say some very mean and very hurtful things, and that  they might even get violent. These are the only weapons they know how to use.  Staying strong and understanding that it’s the “Monster of Addiction” not your loved one, that is saying and doing these things will help you get through the intervention without you fighting back and making it worse.  Staying calm and on point will serve you better.


  • Get together with your team and make a plan

Keeping everyone on the team on the same page is crucial to showing a unified front. Your plan should include:

    • Who’s going to start and lead the conversation
    • What you're willing to do to help – What you’re not
    • Boundaries & expectations
    • Consequences should the boundaries or expectations be broken or not met
    • Give examples of people who successfully recovered
    • How you can show empathy & support for the challenges they will face during recovery without enabling them. There should be no wiggle room and no negotiating. This needs to be done or else…
    • Determine when and where you’re going to hold the intervention.  Make sure it is a safe place for everyone involved.
    • What will you do if the subject gets verbally mean
    • What will you do if the subject gets violent
    • Keep in mind, most interventions don’t work the first time around.  However, planting the seed makes it easier for the thought of recovery to grow.
    • Practice with the people on your intervention team

    Rehearse how you’re going to start the dialog and how it’s going to progress. Rehearse how you will react if they fight back…verbally and physically.

    If they say yes, they are ready for recovery, know what your next step will be.

    • Follow through

    One of the most important parts of an intervention is the follow through. Even if the intervention itself didn’t produce the results you hoped for, your willingness to enforce healthy boundaries afterward might encourage a person struggling with addiction to seek help later.